Updated: October 9, 2024

In a world where trust means everything, betrayal trauma hits hard. Imagine Sarah, believing in the people closest to her, only to be hurt deeply by their betrayal. It's like her whole world fell apart, leaving her lost and hurting.

Sarah felt angry, sad, and betrayed. She couldn't sleep without nightmares, and the betrayal haunted her every thought. Trust, once so important, now seemed impossible.

Desperate for help, Sarah turned to a therapist who knew about EMDR therapy. This counselling helps people deal with trauma. Sarah wasn't sure what to expect, but she wanted to feel better.

In the therapist's office, Sarah talked about what happened. The therapist guided her through EMDR therapy, helping her face the pain little by little.

With each session, Sarah began to feel a little better. The nightmares stopped, and she didn't feel haunted by the betrayal anymore. Instead of feeling angry, she started to understand and forgive, not the person who hurt her, but herself.

Through EMDR therapy, Sarah found strength she didn't know she had. She's not defined by the betrayal anymore. Now, she's strong and ready to heal. Betrayal trauma can make you feel stuck in the past but even the deepest wounds can be overcome.

If you want to learn how a betrayal trauma therapist can help, book a free consultation with our clinic. * Must be an Ontario resident.

What is Betrayal Trauma?

• Betrayal trauma occurs when someone we trust violates that trust, causing emotional harm.

• It can result from various actions like infidelity, dishonesty, or breaking promises.

• Betrayal trauma can lead to feelings of anger, sadness, mistrust, and anxiety.

• Symptoms may include nightmares, flashbacks, and difficulty trusting others.

• Healing from betrayal trauma involves processing emotional wounds. It also involves rebuilding trust in oneself and others.

What Are the Different Kinds of Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal trauma can take many forms. Here are the different kinds of betrayal trauma:

1. Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most common forms of betrayal trauma. Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful can lead to feelings of shock, anger, and deep sadness. It can also cause a person to question their self-worth and trust in others.

2. Deception and Lies

Being lied to by someone you trust can be devastating. Whether it's a friend, family member, or partner, discovering that someone has deceived you can erode your sense of security and trust.

3. Abandonment

Abandonment happens when someone you rely on leaves you, either physically or emotionally. This can happen in relationships, friendships, or within families. Feeling left alone can be overwhelming and lead to long-term emotional scars.

4. Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse involves manipulation, control, and belittling by someone close to you. This kind of betrayal can be subtle but damaging.

5. Financial Betrayal

Financial betrayal happens when someone mishandles or hides financial matters. This can include hidden debts, secret spending, or misuse of shared resources.

6. Professional Betrayal

Professional betrayal happens when a trusted colleague or superior undermines you. Examples could be: taking credit for your work or engaging in unethical behaviour that impacts your career. This can lead to feelings of injustice and loss of trust in the workplace.

7. Institutional Betrayal

Institutional betrayal happens when an organization fails to protect or support you in a time of need. This can include ignoring reports of misconduct or creating an unsafe environment.

Each type of betrayal trauma brings its own set of challenges and emotional responses. Understanding the specific kind of betrayal you have experienced can be an important step in your healing process.

Symptoms of Betrayal Trauma

• Anxiety and Hypervigilance: Constantly worrying and fearing getting hurt again. Sometimes people have difficulty feeling safe even in familiar surroundings.

• Trust Issues: Struggling to trust others, even those who were not involved in the betrayal. You can feel suspicious of people's intentions, even when they are good.

• Intrusive Thoughts and Memories: Persistent thoughts or memories of the betrayal. Thinking about the betrayal impacts your life and you experience strong emotional reactions.

• Difficulty Concentrating: You find it difficult to focus on tasks or responsibilities.

• Changes in Behaviour: You try to avoid things that remind you of the betrayal. You try to avoid people situations or objects. Some people may even withdraw from social interactions altogether.

• Physical Symptoms: Stress and emotional pain can impact your physical health. It's normal to experience headaches, stomachaches, or have trouble sleeping.

How to Process Betrayal Trauma

1. Get Support. Reach out to friends or family who can offer empathy and understanding during this challenging time. You can also reach out for professional help. Counselling may be helpful if you have symptoms of depression or anxiety.

2. Practice Self-Care. Take time to focus on your well-being. It's important that you continue to do activities that bring you comfort and joy (even if you don't feel like it). Consider engaging in things like relaxation, exercise, meditation, or hobbies.

3. Set Boundaries. Establish clear boundaries with the person who betrayed you. This will give you some power back. It can also protect you from further harm and allow for emotional healing.

4. Express Your Feelings. Allow yourself to acknowledge and express your emotions. You can do this through journaling, art, or talking with a trusted confidant. You could also do this with a psychotherapist.

5. Consider Therapy. Explore treatment options like EMDR. Therapy can help you process and overcome the trauma in a supportive environment.

6. Focus on Healing. Be patient with yourself and recognize that healing takes time. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of trust while also nurturing hope for the future.

7. Rebuild Trust. As you progress in your healing journey, work towards rebuilding trust in yourself and others. You can start with small steps and incremental progress.

Treatments for Betrayal Trauma

Dealing with betrayal trauma is tough, but some therapies can help. Let’s look at three main types: EMDR, CBT, and ACT.

1. EMDR for Betrayal Trauma

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a type of psychotherapy that helps you process and heal from trauma. It involves a structured approach with eight phases, including history-taking, preparation, and desensitization. During EMDR sessions, the therapist will guide you through eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation, like tapping or sounds. This helps your brain process traumatic memories and reduce the distress they cause.

EMDR is effective in reducing symptoms of betrayal trauma and improving your mental health.

Learn about our online EMDR therapist and the benefits of EMDR.

2. CBT for Betrayal Trauma

CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy. It is a common therapy that focuses on changing negative thoughts and behaviours. For betrayal trauma, CBT helps you identify and challenge harmful beliefs about yourself and others. It also teaches you coping strategies to manage intense emotions.

Techniques in CBT might include cognitive restructuring, which involves changing negative thoughts. It may also involve exposure therapy, which involves facing your fears in a controlled way. Research shows that CBT can reduce symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). CBT can help improve relationships for those who have experienced betrayal trauma.

Learn about CBT counselling.

3. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT is a therapy that uses mindfulness to help you accept difficult emotions. It also helps you to change behaviours so that you are doing things that align with your values. In the context of betrayal trauma, ACT encourages you to accept your emotions without judgment and focus on what matters to you.

ACT techniques include mindfulness exercises, cognitive defusion (seeing thoughts as just thoughts), and value clarification. These can help you cope with distress and improve your overall well-being.

Get Started with an Online Betrayal Trauma Therapist

Betrayal trauma can be incredibly challenging, but with the right support and treatment, you can heal and move forward. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and therapy can help you move on with your life.

Book a Free Consultation - We are Here to Help!

At Virtual CBT Psychotherapy, we have a variety of therapists and treatment modalities to choose from. Learn more about our team of social workers, psychologists, and registered psychotherapists.

Book a free consultation by clicking the tab. Our Clinical Directors will match you with a therapist based on your trauma history.

Frequently Asked Questions About Betrayal Trauma

Is Betrayal Trauma in the DSM-IV?

No, betrayal trauma is not listed in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition). The DSM-IV is a guide used by doctors and therapists to diagnose mental health conditions. While betrayal trauma isn't listed, the feelings and symptoms are like those listed in the DSM-IV. It could present like depression, anxiety or PTSD.

Can You Get PTSD from Betrayal Trauma?

Yes, it is possible to develop PTSD from betrayal trauma. Betrayal trauma happens when someone you trust betrays you in a significant way. This can cause intense emotional pain and distress, which can lead to PTSD. PTSD from betrayal trauma includes symptoms like:

• Flashbacks

• Nightmares

• Uncontrollable thoughts about the betrayal.

At Virtual CBT Psychotherapy, we can assess if your betrayal trauma presents like PTSD. We also have clinical psychologists who can perform a psychological assessment. Book a free consultation to learn more.

How Long Can Betrayal Trauma Last?

The length of time betrayal trauma lasts can vary from person to person. Some people might begin to feel better in a few months. In contrast, others might struggle with the effects for many years.

The healing process often depends on the support they receive and the coping strategies they use.

Therapy and counselling can help people process the trauma more effectively.

Where is Betrayal Trauma Stored in the Body?

The body can store betrayal trauma, like other forms of trauma. This means the body can remember the trauma even if you aren’t always thinking about it. People might feel this stored trauma as physical symptoms such as:

• Headaches

• stomachaches

• Muscle tension.

• The trauma can affect the nervous system and lead to physical stress responses.

References:

Cloitre, M., Cohen, L. R., & Koenen, K. C. (2010). Treating survivors of childhood abuse: Psychotherapy for the interrupted life. Guilford Press.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change. Guilford Press.

Lee, C. W., Cuijpers, P., & Akinwande, O. (2018). EMDR for depression: A systematic review of controlled studies. Depression and Anxiety, 35(11), 1038-1050. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.22792

Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.