Updated: September 4, 2024

What is Relationship OCD?

Relationship OCD is also known as ROCD. It is a form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) where the obsessions and compulsions are about romantic. People with ROCD often have intrusive thoughts and doubts about their partner or the relationship. People with ROCD struggle with significant distress and anxiety.

Symptoms of ROCD

ROCD symptoms are characterized by obsessions and compulsions related to relationships. Here are some common examples:

Obsessions:

• Constantly doubting your love for your partner

• Obsessing over your partner’s flaws

• Worrying if your partner truly loves you

• Comparing your relationship to others

Compulsions/Rituals:

• Repeatedly seeking reassurance from your partner, friends or therapist

• Constantly checking your feelings or testing your love

• Avoiding situations that trigger doubts

• Excessive research about relationships and love

Avoidant Behaviours

People with ROCD may avoid situations that trigger their anxiety. Some common avoidant behaviours include:

• Avoiding romantic activities or dates

• Staying away from social events with other couples

• Avoiding deep conversations about the relationship

• Steering clear of places that remind you of past relationship doubts

• Ending romantic relationships because of anxiety and obsessions

Treatment for ROCD

Treating ROCD involves evidence-based therapies that can help you manage and reduce symptoms. Here are some effective treatments:

ERP for Relationship OCD (ROCD):

• ERP stands for exposure and response prevention therapy. It is a type of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It is an effective treatment option for treating ROCD. It involves exposing yourself to the thoughts and situations that trigger your obsessions. It also consists in eliminating compulsive behaviours. Over time, this helps reduce the power of the obsessions.

• Treating ROCD can be tricky because the rituals look very different than your typical OCD with contamination fears. The rituals can look like coping strategies (e.g. positive self-talk or mental rituals), which many therapists will overlook. Many therapists may inadvertently teach you “coping strategies” that will turn into rituals.

• Exposure ideas for ROCD should based on the person's unique symptoms. Think of your avoidant and compulsive behaviours. For example, if you avoid dating because of your obsessions, a good exposure might involve activities around dating. For example, you could make a dating profile, go on a casual or romantic date, etc. Imaginal exposure of your worst fears coming true is another effective strategy in ERP.

• Learn about ERP for OCD.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT):

• CBT helps you understand and change the thought patterns that fuel your obsessions. It teaches you skills to manage anxiety and cope with intrusive thoughts.

• Learn about CBT.

Medication:

• In some cases, medications can help manage OCD symptoms (e.g. selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Consult with a psychiatrist or your family doctor to see if this option is right for you.

7 Tips if You Have ROCD

1. Acknowledge Your Thoughts:

   • Recognize that your obsessive thoughts are a part of ROCD and not a reflection of reality. Try to leave the thoughts alone if you can.

2. Practice Mindfulness:

   • Mindfulness can help you stay grounded and reduce the impact of intrusive thoughts. It’s best to practice mindfulness at regular intervals (e.g. in the morning and before you go to bed) so that you don’t use it as a compulsion.

3. Limit Reassurance Seeking:

   • Avoid seeking constant reassurance from your partner or others. This can reinforce the obsessions. Avoid using Google or Reddit to find reassurance that it’s just your OCD.

4. Challenge Negative Thoughts:

   • Use CBT techniques to challenge and reframe negative thoughts about your relationship. It’s best to create balanced thoughts as opposed to positive thoughts. Positive thoughts are prone to become mental compulsions. E.g. instead of “My partner may not be right for me”, maybe you could say “I love them very much but it’s hard to know for sure if there is someone out there better for me”.

5. Set Boundaries:

   • Create boundaries around time spent on compulsive behaviours, such as checking or researching. If you can slowly drop your compulsive behaviours over time, you will find that you start to obsess less!

6. Focus on the Present:

   • Engage in activities that keep you present and connected with your partner.

7. Seek Professional Help:

   • A therapist experienced in OCD can provide the support and tools you need to manage ROCD. At Virtual CBT Psychotherapy, we have a variety of therapists to choose from who are experienced with ERP. Book a free consultation today to to if we can help. Click the tab below to get started.

Resources for OCD

If you’re struggling with ROCD, there are resources available to help you:

• Ontario Psychological Association (OPA):

  • Find a licensed therapist in Ontario who specializes in OCD. Visit psych.on.ca for more information.

• CAMH (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health):

  • CAMH offers various mental health services, including treatment for OCD. Visit camh.ca to learn more.

• Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) Ontario:

  • CMHA provides support and resources for mental health issues. Visit ontario.cmha.ca for local services.

• Our favourite website for OCD: International OCD Foundation

Self-Help Books for OCD

• Getting Over OCD: A 10-Step Workbook for Taking Your Life Back

• Relationship OCD A CBT-Based Guide to Move Beyond Obsessive Doubt, Anxiety, and Fear of Commitment in Romantic Relationships

Connect with an ERP Therapist for ROCD

ROCD can be challenging and can impact the quality of your life. But with the right support and treatment, you can manage your symptoms and have healthier relationships. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and ROCD is treatable with ERP.

Book a Free Consultation to Get Started

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